Controversy

This is my first controversial blog post.  This issue about homosexuals in the military is a touchy subject but I think I can shed a little light on it.  Whether you are for or against them being in the military, you have a solid argument.  I will speak a little from both sides, and then I will say what we can not do or history will repeat itself.

Being against homosexuals in the military have an argument saying that not all of the soldiers will be comfortable serving with them.  The military thinks war time is a time where the country needs its toughest soldiers, and because of the stereotype of homosexuals being feminine, they do not belong in that type of situation to defend their country.  The stereotypes surrounding homosexuals are ridiculous and I see that the people are surrounding their argument around gay men only.  I have yet to hear an argument about gay women who also have the manly stereotype.  We can not judge someone by stereotypes.  Then we as a people can not be homophobic to where we are "afraid" of being in the same existence as homosexuals.  The ignorance of some people amazes me.  The fact that gays WANT to fight in the military for their country should be enough.  A lot of straight men or women rather not take the risk of being shipped anywhere to fight.  We all want equal rights, but will gays in the military affect their group' concentration and compromise the execution of different onbjectives? 

THE LAST THING we need to do is accept gays into the military but put them into their own division.  If we are going to strike down the ban then totally do so, we can not restrict their involvement in the military.  We had something like this before, and it was called Jim Crow Laws, where it said "separate but equal".  At the time it might have seemed right, but now, we see the true impact of what it had. I think we need to change as a people.  The problem is not the gay movement, the problem lies within the people of power for being so ignorant with stereotypical ideas and letting that drive them to building insecurities.

Conversation

In this day in age, we have find ourselves surrounded by technology to a point where we can know someone without ever meeting them and never speaking to them.  Social networks are a great way to meet new people and make business connections.  But after this, what do we do? We text, text, text.... The most informal and also the most manipulating device right now is text messaging.  You can not let that be your only way of communication. 

Yes, I enjoy texting, who doesn't?  I like to have phone conversations or talk over lunch.  These formal conversations allow for there to be no confusion, and what you say is natural.  Through text, someone can message you and it can mean several different things, and however the person responds, thats what you go with.  When met with a controversial topic through text, what do you do? You read it, ponder, and write back within 30 minutes or so, or you just do not feel like talking about it and do not respond at all.  When meeting someone with a controversial topic in person, you get to see the person's first reaction and they have to respond relatively quickly. 

What does texting do for you in the long run?  If it is someone you know well, a text to confirm plans, that is fine.  But when it is someone you hardly know, that is when you don't know the person's intentions with you and they can hide behind a screen and be as blunt as possible and if you don't respond the way they want, then they can easily move on to someone else without addressing you.  Where will that benefit you in the long run? Being in a relationship with someone who you text all day and hangout at night while you are both on your computers? How is it going to be when you need to conversate about something serious and it is awkward because you rarely engage in face to face conversation?  If you question somebody's intentions with you, go somewhere where there are a lot of people around, turn your phones off, and enjoy each other's company, and ask questions that you need to be answered.

Leisure is Bittersweet

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."

-Albert Einstein

Leisure- free time

This past weekend was a time for the opening of the NFL season and also the second week for College football.  It was also another weekend closer to the final teams chasing each other for their birth into the MLB playoffs.  Everyone sits down on their couch all day and night and watches.  A great time away from work, the classroom, and from your week-filled athletic schedule.

But in the end where does this benefit you??  I love the fact it gives us time to hang out with friends and socialize.  If we take a step back and realize where we are and what we are doing, have we reached OUR goals?? Are we not sitting on the couch watching people who have accomplished their goals at being professional athletes??  When I was a young teen, I was one of the best basketball players in the country. My Uncle Spencer told me that although I was good, there were 300 to 400 kids exactly like me.  If I stopped working hard, I will soon find myself in the back burner without a scholarship and in a tough spot later in life. Any day I could have stopped working and ended up fighting for something I could have controlled.

The kids out here looking to make their school Varsity or Junior Varsity team:  Did you spend more than enough time on your video games or facebook during times when you could be working on your athletic skill?? If you answer yes, look yourself in the mirror and ask if you are doing yourself a disservice.  This also applies to kids who are in middle school.  Do you want to represent your school but are unsure if this will happen for certain?? Then you can change that when you know others are sitting on their couch, you are working on your skill.  It is great to have  leisure time but get an hour or two of workouts in before you choose to have free time. One of the quotes I TRY to live by is "tomorrows 'coulda' 'woulda' 'shouldas', are being lived right now".  This does not apply to only athletics, it applies to every profession.  Those studying for your MCATS to get into Med school or the LSATS for Law school.  What did you find yourself doing this past weekend?? Were you partying to clear your mind or were you taking off a couple of hours at a time in between studying?  Those studying during times of leisure are the ones who have that quality free time when they have a satisfying score a few months later.  Are you able to sacrifice happiness now in order to guarantee success and happiness later??

"The important thing is this:  to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."

-Charles Du Bos

I Change Myself, I Change the World

"Never mistake knowledge for wisdom.  One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life." -Sandra Carey

One thing we should learn is that knowledge is gained through learning, while wisdom is gained through experience.  I made a post on one of my social sites within the past couple months about one of my experiences.  I had to be able to find myself and find who I was throughout elementary school and middle.  Attending Sterling Elementary and Meadowland Elementary, I found that not everyone like you, and some people care a lot about you.  In some occasions, little kids can be cruel to each other and you can be on either end of the cruelty.  At Seneca Ridge Middle School, I still had to find myself, gaining few friends along the way.  I found myself picked on quite often, as if it was a teen high school movie with the different clique of friends.  I floated between groups but never established anything concrete off of the basketball court.  Often hearing "you will never be on TV", "why do you even try? nobody gets  noticed from this area".  I took these comments and kept living.  Throughout middle school, I sat with the same individual every day at lunch at our big table, his name was Brian Douts.  We would talk back and forth but that was about it.  Brian was fortunate to play football at Frostburg State University. Two of the four kids out of the whole school who pursued college athletics were at my table.  The other two were Casey Hartman who played baseball in college and Adrian Tracy who played football at Wlliam & Mary who worked hard enough to get drafted in the 6th Round by the New York Giants.  Casey and Adrian were both in my close group of friends.

I was never the "cool kid" in middle school.  I know some of those kids who were popular back then.  I go back home to Sterling and I see them doing nothing with their lives.  Some end up at NOVA community college, and others end up in the prison system.  One thing you have to take from this is that as long as you stay focused, nobody looks back at who you were in middle school.  Socially, it does not matter.  Once you leave for college, it is a whole new ball game.  You are able to meet a new group of friends and these are the friends you have bonds and ties with for the rest of your life.  Just focus on your life and your goals earlier on, even in high school, stay focused.  The more you worry about the social aspect in school, the more your life will go off track and you will lose sight of your goals.  Surround yourself with people who have similar goals and aspirations.  Be the one who is focused on your personal goals, and you all of a sudden see others following in your footsteps.

"I Change myself, I change the world." -Gloria Anzaldua